Leaving a Paid Job to realize A Dream

Yesterday I received many acknowledgements from my friends. The reason was to resign from my paid job…no salaries from August 2008.

From the year 2000 to 2007, I was never jobless but was never paid. During those periods I volunteered in few developmental organizations gaining experiences in the social sector. On May 2007, one reputed organization offered me a job which I accepted. I was very happy to get that job and for a year I was quite satisfied with my job. I got opportunities to grow professionally; travel to very remote part of Nepal and my earning was also not bad (for a single person like me). Still, there are many opportunities at the organization which I am going to leave from 31 July 2008.

However, in recent days I was in a dilemma and was frequently asking myself about my dreams and work that I really wanted to do in my life? Or are there other kinds of jobs that fascinate me more? I questioned about my interests, my passion, for visions which I have more dedication, enthusiasm, and energy for creation. There were queries in my mind like, is it possible? Or do I have a dedicated team? Well, frankly I was knocked with these questions after I read the book “Leaving Microsoft to change the World” by Mr. John Wood. (Should I thank Mr. Wood?)

After questioning myself for a long time, finally I got answer. I decided to quit my current job.I am still not sure that if this was a right action? Rather I am aware that it is a big challenging question for my whole life. I was aware, that these days it is very difficult to get job especially for people like me who is a man from the capital of the country and belongs to Brahmin caste (so called high caste group). These days’ organizations are focusing on inclusion, gender and representation, so there is almost no space for man like me (you can easily find 10:3 female and male ration in some of the leading organization. Is that a gender balance?). Another most probable disqualifying factor for me not getting new job is that I don’t have relatives at high level position (it is a must to get a decent job). I am sure that it will be very hard for me to find similar job. But for this moment my insight and intuition tells me that I have chosen the right decision no matter what may happen in the future.

The reason for leaving this job is my dream, my vision and the most my satisfaction and happiness. One of the reasons for me leaving the current job is that I want to focus in life. I have tried many things in last few years, now I realized that I was not being focused on what I was/am doing. My interest and work are two different thresholds. I felt that I want to move on to one edge but was never following the right path. These days I am confused on what I was doing. During my working days some times I felt so unproductive and was sticking on the same job. I questioned myself, why am I so obligated to this particular job? Why I am simply killing my days working on what I am not made for rather than fulfilling my dreams and achieving my vision. So what is the reason of being here and occupying this space?

That day I listed pros and cons of leaving this job. First I listed the things that I wanted to do in my life, my interest and where I want to be in rest of the life. My result showed that current job will not help me to achieve my dreams and vision.

During the time I was planning to leave the job, many questions came into my mind, some of them were too ridiculous but practical as well such as, as I was planning of getting married in a year or a so and when I quit this paying job, I will not be earning and not sure how much time will it take me to start earning myself. So will the girl’s parents ready to give their daughter to the man who doesn’t earn? Several similar questions came into my mind, but I answered myself that this is not the right time to answer those questions. If I really work hard, I am confident that I will earn that will help me to survive and support my family. I don’t want luxury life; I simply want to be happy and satisfied throughout my life.

In the recent years in my professional life I have tried few things, in some of the matters I consider myself successful. I don’t compare my success with others’; I know there are many people of my age who have done far better than me, have achieved more. But I am happy with my progress but not satisfied because I don’t forget my reality and my background. Whatever I am today, I know, I am more than what I deserve. Now I have decided that I will be more progressive, I will do whatever my mind suggest me to do, more than that I will do the work that I enjoy most.

Now I will try to be focus, and I will continue with my own organization Yatra. Now I will accomplish those dreams set by myself and my friends for our organization. I know my organization might not pay me at this moment, but I also believe that the money will be the last constraint. There is a saying “If you are really passionate towards your work, don’t think about money; keep on doing your duty”. I believe this…

I assume there are only very few persons who left their job to fulfill their dreams, now I am in the list and I am very happy for that. I don’t know my decision is right or wrong, and this is not the appropriate time to find the answer. My performance and outcomes in the upcoming days will give the answer to my decision, and I am confident the answer will be positive.

Now I am again a volunteer, and I am ready to volunteer in the cost of fulfilling my dreams. The last thing I can predict for me is that I will never have to be jobless, never…